darkest
My missing you is so large that I cannot begin to find the edges. I don’t know where to start because everything is the darkest part of night – no stars, no moon, just shadows and me and this giant, hulking thing called Missing You. If I take a step forward, I might find myself miles from you, millions and thousands of miles from you, from this point, and it is a step I’m unwilling to take. Stars shine through sometimes, very dim and barely visible, but I see them and cling to them because I know it is you looking for me in your own deep, dark night. I bathe in that faint light because it is the same as bathing in everything distinctly, warmly you. When the stars fade, when I can no longer see them, I sit myself down in the very darkest part of my very darkest hour and cry until my insides are in shreds and nothing more remains.
© 2008
4.7.2008
